How cooking, reading, and no fap is changing my life

I’ve been really busy lately, and have had no time to update this blog so now I’m here to throw up some much needed updates! Here we go…I took a job at the Albuquerque International Balloon Fiesta as a brand ambassador for the US Army’s Go Strength campaign. I worked 3 shifts that were about 11 hours long over the course of 3 days. I also worked a 5 hour a shift the last day of the event which wrapped up on Sunday. Check out my instagram picture as well! I was busy working so I only snapped one picture of the Balloons, and the video above! I have been doing odd jobs to keep my money situation somewhat solvent since leaving my serving job at Weck’s Breakfast and Lunch. I already used the money i made to buy myself a new DSLR camera! I have been wanting to get a camera for years now, and with YouTube a part of my life I figured that filming on something other than my phone would be a great step to take on my journey of mastering social media.

the-naked-gospel     I read three books over this last period of time that i believe are worth mentioning. The first one is called “The Naked Gospel” by Andrew Farley and let me say it totally blew away my expectations. I was somewhat slow to receive this books message as I have had negative church experiences and generally anything to do with religion. The book completely acknowledged my feelings and obliterated my qualms quite quickly. I ripped through the book and will definitely read this books again and again! In a nutshell the book explains the futility of religion and how for Christians the real deal is simply Jesus plus nothing. Once i had this simple formula in mind i read the book with curiosity and gusto! I loved how it removed any requirement for me to perform in order to please God. I don’t have to trust in works to save me, constantly ask God to forgive me when I slip up and sin. The book laid out two of my enemies that are sinister entities with an agenda to wreak havoc upon me and my life.

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The first enemy is “the flesh” and is easily identified by it’s attempts to try use self-discipline, effort, and any possible way it can to try to be number 1. Religion is the flesh’s favorite activity and it uses the rigid standards of the law to remind us how we fall short everyday. The Naked Gospel explains how nobody can keep the law. The law is an impossible set of rules that only Christ can fulfill perfectly. Even the teachings of Christ in the new testament are completely unable to be followed to the letter every time. Reading this was a huge help in giving me the relief i needed to just let go and surrender to God. The law basically is designed to point us to Jesus Christ.

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The 2nd enemy is sin. Sin is when we miss the mark and do something that is not us. Also as Paul mentions that the sin dwelling in him afforded every opportunity to do the opposite of what the law said not to do. Paul struggled with coveting other peoples things! I have struggled with lust! (praise Jesus I am still walking in the light and have not returned to fapping to porn!)  I love how the book just highlights that amazing truth that we are not “the flesh” (enemy number 1) nor are we sin (that which separates us from God.) Jesus paid it all. I can live my life knowing that I am fully forgiven and all that is required of me has been taken care of by Jesus Christ himself. My faith is in Christ alone to save me. The blood of Christ is what forgives my sins. The resurrection of Christ is what gives me new life, allowing me to live for God. Before I wrap up my review of this book I want to mention how knowing these enemies allowed me to gain perspective on my thoughts. All too often my thoughts are like an endless sea of text messages that are tinged with negative, fearful, and unhelpful voices. This slew of inner dialogue often pretends to be me! I recognized that the flesh is a third party sending me these crippling thoughts that are designed to make me start trusting in my own efforts of willpower, and personal resolve to feel good enough for God’s love and approval.

As an avid church goer for many years (i hardly attend anymore) i was fully caught in this legalism and trying to be good enough for God fever that has swept up many a believer. Realizing that i will not be judged for my sins because Jesus already paid it all was a huge load off of my mind. I can breathe again!I haven’t even gotten to the second book yet! I will leave that for another post and just catch you up to speed with everything else going on right now. Tomorrow I’m going to see a psychiatrist to give me a diagnoses for PTSD which will allow me to obtain my medical cannabis card! I have been a cannabis user for many years and I have always felt paranoid and a little guilty for breaking the law. Even though i have no real desire to smoke at this time I have been promising myself that I would take care of this little issue and just do the work to remove this obstacle from interfering from my enjoyment.

Being in 2 car accidents and also having multiple stressful incidents while in the church ironically or maybe not so ironically has negatively impacted me on some level so i would say that getting the diagnoses will be a walk in the park. It’s going to take a month to process everything once I’m approved and even when I get the license i may not take any action whatsoever. It’s comforting to know though that at anytime i can roll out to the dispensary and grab some high quality flowers or an edible and enjoy it as a responsible adult.

My daily routine has been shaking out like this lately which is where I will leave off with this blog entry. First thing in the morning I like to start off with some water and a meditation of about 20 minutes. Next I grab a book and start to read and take a few notes. Right now I’m reading Think and Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill and I just finished taking the first step on the road to riches which is Desire!

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I know in my last blog i said i would go into detail about the 5 things i gave up this year that have changed my life for the better. So lest I forget i will lay out the first one again and then reveal the second.

The first activity that i stopped doing was the act of masturbating to pornography. This is one of the most powerful things I have ever changed in my life. Now let me just say that under no circumstances am I saying that because i have given this up i am somehow more right with God as a result. Again it’s Jesus plus nothing. Jesus Christ saves me and my faith is the instrument that i use to place my trust in Him and his glorious power to save.

I’m a simply saying that because i ceased doing this activity of fapping to porn my life has improved markedly. I have saved so much time and energy by allowing my body to just rest in what God has done for me. I really don’t watch a lot of TV either except for a few chosen favorites like Mr. Robot and West-world on HBO.

Alright so the 2nd thing i gave up this year which if you have been reading my blog it should come as no surprise to you is…meat and dairy! It’s been amazing going through life not needing to consume animal products and even cheese and eggs which i thought i would never be able to give up i found were easily replaceable with more fruits, veggies, and nuts!

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Not needing any meat or dairy to function in the world feels like a super power! I really have nothing but praise and positive things to say about adopting a plant based lifestyle! Your body, mind, soul, and spirit will thank you with loads of energy and mental power you thought didn’t exist!

That’s it for this installment of blogging…I’ll be back with more of my journey and my experiences that I love sharing with you! Even though not too many people are reading this blog right now, there’s a certain beauty in that. I can say whatever I want to and improve my presentation over the weeks, months, and years to come!

Take action and I’ll see you next time!

Joshua Wagoner

3 comments on “How cooking, reading, and no fap is changing my life”

  1. Jorge says:

    Thank you, nice read.

    1. presenceandlove says:

      You are welcome! 🙂

  2. John says:

    Excellent read, thank you.

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