Fleeing Youthful Lusts and Standing Fast In the Liberty I Have In Christ

Life After Porn…Day 105


I see this constantly among young men and i myself have only recently escaped the trap of masturbating to pornography. As I write this blog entry on 13 October it has been 105 days since my last experience with pornography. I also have gone the exact same amount of days regarding masturbation as I stopped doing both activities on the same day. After a years long addiction to the activity I can honestly say that I feel lighter, happier, and more free than I ever have in my life.

Medical Cannabis in New Mexico

Today, I went to the medical cannabis health clinic and got my diagnoses for PTSD officially approved. This means that in about 8 weeks I will be able to legally buy cannabis for my own personal use if i choose. I actually have low interest in smoking cannabis at this time in my life, however I appreciate the fact that now from a legal standpoint I can acquire the plant with peace of mind.

New Mexico is one of the states where medical cannabis is legal, and with the right diagnoses most anyone can get a card allowing them to purchase cannabis from the dispensaries in the state.

After having purchased the plant from my friends who had a “connect” as we call it, i would often feel paranoid about using it. I realized that for me at least this paranoia stemmed from a misalignment of my values. I was using the drug illegally and even though I fully support the drugs legalization, the use of it felt misaligned. Now i have bypassed this feeling of discomfort by actually going forward and admitting my need for the plants healing properties. I feel no shame in admitting this either. Most people are far too complacent and will settle for paying for it illegally. I viewed my situation as a great opportunity to truly take responsibility for my life and my decision to treat myself in a natural safe way without the use of harmful pills.

The $200 dollar fee will deter most people. A lot of us failed to realize that if we just delayed paying for the next few 8ths we would have the money to remove the guilt and shame factor from the equation for good. I am actually excited to partake of this awesome plant medicine in the future although i have absolutely no hurried feelings about it at all. I’m just going to be going on about my life and waiting for the card to come in the mail.

My priorities have really shifted lately and I have the utmost faith in the still small voice i heard a few months earlier prompting me to leave my day job of doom.

My Morning Ritual


My morning routines are started to coalesce into a burning desire to get the most out of every day. I wake up lately around 8 and start with a seated meditation with my back against my bed. I will usually just sit in silence and sip some water or allow myself a glimpse into scripture. Then i pick up a book and start reading for real with a notebook in my lap and a pen. Right now I’m reading Think and Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill. I also just received The Universe Has Your Back by Gabrielle Bernstein which I’m really enjoying.


I want to briefly mention a book I just finished reading called “How to Know You’re Going to Heaven” by John Ankerberg. This book (which you can pick up for a penny on Amazon) cleared up all of my doubts about whether or not I would be spending eternity with the Lord in heaven. I’m a believer after all and there’s really no more important issue that needs to be resolved than to know for sure that yes indeed I am actually heaven bound. The book was incredibly descriptive towards the end in describing the new jerusalem as an increibly beautiful city made out of many different precious metals and stones. The whole notion that heaven would be boring was completely demolished and now I can simply pass out the rest of my time here on earth while i wait for that day to come when I go to be with the Lord.

Eternal Security Is Real! Jesus Plus Nothing!

The way I know for sure that I’m going to heaven is based on (1) the promises of God that i have read in the bible. (2) My faith in Christ to save me and the grace of God alone that gives me eternal life. I will be revisiting these books and giving more concise information about how I know for sure that I’m going to heaven. This is not a book to make one a better church goer, bible reader, or religious person. All that is empty and meaningless can be found in religion and ritual practices to try to make oneself presentable to God. I really loved how the author mentioned that the Holy Spirit is the equivalent of our dowry here on earth since we as the believers are the bride of Christ.

Okay, now then on with the rest of this blog post. My morning meditation and reading sessions usually last me about 60-90 minutes and then from there I’ve had my fighter fuel with some delicious almond milk or maybe just black, so I’m ready to head up to the gym. I lift weights at planet fitness for 50 minutes to an hour, and then head back home again. I say home which currently is my mom and my step dad. My grandma lives down the street and my aunt lives about 25 minutes away. I will usually assess my day from this point and either shoot a vlog or take care of my HIIT cardio which I have been doing under the victory unit membership i have. I just do the videos on my smartphone and sweat up a storm for around 45-55 minutes.

Once I’ve done all my exercises and reading for the day I head over to the community college to write blogs, edit videos, and use the wifi that is open to the public. I’m wrapping up my last semester at CNM and will be completely done with my last class by December 11th.

Cannon Rebel Update


Another bummer too was that I got my Cannon Rebel DSLR in the mail the other day and I was disappointed to realize I bought the Cannon Rebel T6 when I wanted the Cannon Rebel T6i because that is what i need to film my vlogs with. I could just use my phone, it’s just that having a DSLR has also been on my list of things I wanted to get but kept putting off, like my medical cannabis card. So after a lengthy repackaging procedure I sent the box back off to amazon to await my refund. I will pick up the right camera once my money shows back up in my bank account. I did my research and the Cannon Rebel T6i really outperforms the base model by a considerable degree, so it really is the camera for me.

I’ll be posting more updates and have a vlog up here shortly. I’ll be sharing my experiences with life after porn, my vegan lifestyle, and my medical cannabis adventures.



Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *